School's out for Summer

I’m quite behind on blog posts so am catching up now with the help of a chicken-scratch journal I tried to keep up with.  I’ll try and write this retrospectively if that is possible...

It’s crazy to think it’s time to leave CCS. The time went by way too fast, yet I also feel like a lifetime has gone by with all of that I’ve learned. This special place has forever changed me. I am so grateful for the experience, all that I have, and now appreciate the simpler things in life.

Being with these children has been so rewarding, but also challenging in ways I never thought possible. It’s hard to grasp the fact that I’ll likely never see these children again given the impact they’ve had on my life. It’s also very hard to admit to myself that I can only do so much here in Tanzania. So many people ask for our help, and I want to help every single one of them, but it’s just not possible. They see me, my face, my clean clothes, and hear my voice speaking English and instantly know I have a better life, access to a world they’ll never know, and hope that I can just do one small thing for each of them - provide a few schillings, help in some way (any way), provide guidance, education, clothes, food, the list goes on and on. That has been one of the hardest parts of being here is the desire to help everyone, and realize the need is never-ending.

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My last day of class was amazing. We made lion masks which was a big hit. After asking me a dozen times to stay longer, Father John blessed the rosaries I bought for my family, and Sister said to me, “I will pray for you for life. You will always be in my heart.”

The kids had a little ceremony where they presented me with a giraffe skirt while singing the song of Kilimanjaro. They repeated over and over, “Thank you Teacher” in their precious accent which made me well up with tears. I nearly lost it but didn’t want to sob in front of all the children. They also gave me a bracelet saying “Asante” which means Thank You in Swahilli. I’ve never felt appreciated like this in any job before! While I wish I could stay here for much, much longer, I’m comforted by the fact that I was able to overlap with the next volunteer Julie who will finish up the last 2 weeks of the school year. I was able to brief her on the abilities of each child and share the goals I developed for the class. Measurements of success aren’t utilized here and Sister was thrilled when I outlined goals for the various age groups in class (which um, I hope are appropriate since I have basically made this up as I go along).

I hope I made a bit of a difference, even if just a small one. It’s very hard to admit that the odds of most of these children finishing primary school are fairly low. I just can’t help but wonder where Devota or Lameke will be in 10 years, and how I wish I could get updates. The people that run the program remind us that it is the culmination of all of our efforts that create an impact in the schools and the community. It’s the institutional knowledge we gain, share and build upon to strengthen what each volunteer can do. While it’s hard to remember the bigger picture, I remind myself that I am one small piece to the building blocks of success. Each kid hugs me as they exit the classroom and I leave teary through the cornfield one last time.

I’m thrilled my good friend Elena is here so I have another leg of the journey ahead of me with some time to reflect before heading back home. Being able to share even a small piece of my experience with her is incredibly special. This wonderful place and this experience has forever changed me. I consciously now need to remind myself to never, ever forget the perspective I’ve gained.